I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
