this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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