how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
