Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
