I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
