Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
