You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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