Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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