I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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