i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
