both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
