Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
