just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
