Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
