why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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