the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
