My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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