Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm passing your future prison.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
