I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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