Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
