So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
