are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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