can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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