doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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