I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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