just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
