dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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