Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
