I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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