and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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