the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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