Quick, to the slutcave!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
