guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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