i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
