so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
