I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I still have a little drunk in my system
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
