Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
