WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
