She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
