There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
