New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
