I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i drank out of a bidet.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
