I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Those nachos came to me in a dream
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
