Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She's JV to your varsity
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
