where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
