Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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