At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
