So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Alive.
So much puke
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
