He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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