I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
