no, he came in my armpit
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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