D3 body, D1 cock
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
